The Sun announces its retirement! farewell, Sol…

Sol, the sun, Earth’s nearest star, announced in a press release today that it would soon be retiring. “It’s not a sudden decision,” wrote the sun; “it was really nice long ago before humans arrived, and even after humans arrived it was nice for a while. Some of the humans even worshipped me as a god – man, that makes a celestial body feel real good, being worshipped. As humans got more advanced, though, they started thinking of me as just another star, and once they understood nuclear physics, they started thinking of me as just a perpetual hydrogen bomb. Who wants to be thought of as just a big bomb? But the thing that finally convinced it was time to retire was that sun in the sky at Second Life. That thing is huge! Now, instead of being worshipped, or at least thought of as a big ball of plasma, after seeing that monstrously big sun in the Second Life sky, people will look at me and think “Refrigerator bulb.” It’s not easy fusing hydrogen into helium all the time; I’d like to at least get a little respect. So that’s enough. I’m quitting.”

The Sun’s retirement will of course mean an end to all life on earth, which is to say, all known life in the universe. Questioned about their role in the cessation of all known life, Linden Lab spokespersons declined to comment.

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3 Responses to “The Sun announces its retirement! farewell, Sol…”

  1. Patric Says:

    Sol long?

    Very nice, Sue 🙂

  2. Destiny Niles Says:

    OK. Sue, looks like the Lindens finally bowed to your pressure and bought a company to make you happy.
    Hmm, let me think of something really nice for your next conquest.

    WindLight atmospheric rendering comes to Second Life!
    WindLight “simulates the ways that sunlight is scattered by the atmosphere under different climatic conditions, such as fog or haze”. Long story short: killer skies and kickass environments.

    http://blog.secondlife.com/2007/05/21/windlight-atmospheric-rendering-comes-to-second-life/

  3. Sue Baskerville Says:

    There is, of course, no chance that my complaints about the new sun had anything to do with the purchase of Windwark Mark.

    I was perfectly content with the sun as it was for most of the years I have been in Second Life.

    I would express doubts about how long it will be before we see the new system, but the rendering of the sky is a client side matter, and the sky rendering system already exists, which means that it shouldn’t take all that long to incorporate it into the sl viewer.

    Some of the pictures on the blog look garish and unpleasant to me. I see there will be controls for the effects, I hope they will let me adjust it to my tastes.

    One can only wait and see what happens.

    Too bad LL can’t find some companies that specialize in sim border crossings, secure inventory transactions, group chat, teleporting, and other such fundamental problems.


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